Write for Business - Blog

The following sentences, which come from business magazines and newspapers, all suffer from particular grammatical or stylistic ailments. Here's your assignment: Explain the ailment in each one and then provide a cure by rewriting the sentence. (The first one has been done for you. I'll share my responses for the others in my next blog entry so we can compare notes.)

• Regular, open, transparent two-way communication reduces feelings of isolation and powerlessness.
  • Ailment: the sentence suffers from redundancy. Don't "open," "transparent," and "two-way" pretty much mean the same thing?
  • Cure: Regular two-way communication reduces feelings of isolation and powerlessness.
• There is no one-size-fits-all program that works for all people and all organizations.
  • Ailment:
  • Cure:
• Real estate developers are sitting on the sidelines, absorbing losses for now and hoping to ride out the storm.
  • Ailment:
  • Cure:
• Wisconsin will receive funds for high-speed rail, updating university infrastructures, clean water, and environmental restoration.
  • Ailment:
  • Cure:
• During a sentence hearing, an attorney for the state argues for whatever penalty they believe is appropriate.
  • Ailment:
  • Cure:
• As will all Packer greats, Brett's legacy will be celebrated by the fans.
  • Ailment:
  • Cure:

Final Thought: My intention here is not to be critical of anyone. I could just as well have picked sentences from my own writing, many of which contain similar ailments. I was simply curious to see what I could find in a few periodicals, and slip-ups like these were few and far between.

- Dave Kemper

Note: My title, "Inflammation of the sentence structure," comes from one of my favorite James Thurber quotations: "With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and hardening of the paragraphs."

A reflexive pronoun (myself, yourself, himself) refers to the subject or the doer of the action.

Letta drives herself too hard.

(From Write for Business, page 243, and Proofreader's Guide PDF, page 55)

It's is the contraction of "it is" or "it has." Its is the possessive form of "it."

It's not simply what you know; it's also whom you know.

The medical clinic finally remodeled its outdated waiting room.

(From Write for Business, page 233, and Proofreader's Guide PDF, page 45)

Irregardless is the substandard form of regardless.

Incorrect: Irregardless of the weather, we will go.

Correct: Regardless of the weather, we will go.

(From Write for Business, page 233, and Proofreader's Guide PDF, page 45)

An indefinite pronoun (all, another, any, anyone, anything, both, each, either, everyone, few, many, most, neither, none, no one, one, several, some) refers to an unspecified person, thing, or group.

All are invited to the seminar.

(From Write for Business, page 243, and Proofreader's Guide PDF, page 55)